The Casual Father: Pokemon Go? Feeling old just got a whole lot worse

Casual Father

Casual Father - Credit: Archant

Of the things that make you feel old, finding a grey hair has to be close to the top of the list.

Add in a trip to the opticians to order a stronger pair of specs on the same day, and I felt like writing my own obituary.

There were no tears or tantrums thrown, only the grim realisation, as I looked in the mirror and plucked out the offending hair, that time doesn’t stand still.

“Nearly time to get down the post office for your pension,” said the wife helpfully, in-between snorts of laughter.

It was in the opticians, while I paid for my new prescription lenses, that my fears of being woefully out of touch with the younger generation were compounded.

Two female employees brazenly discussed their new hobby, despite the fact I was nosily hanging on every word they said.

“Just going on my lunch break,” said employee one. “No, you’re not, you’re going to catch Pikachu,” replied employee two.

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“Ok,” says employee one with a smile as she walks off, “I might have a little hunt.”

The bemused look on my face leads employee two to try to explain. “She’s going to play Pokemon Go,” she says. “Y’know on her phone.”

The next look on my face probably informs her that I do not have the slightest clue what she is talking about, which leaves only one further comment. “That will be £89.99 please.”

A quick internet search when I got home educated me on the Pokemon craze, where, believe it or not, people are actually chasing imaginary characters around town through their smart phones.

It’s not for me.

But the whole experience did get me thinking about what types of technologies might be available to Elizabeth as she grows up.

Such is my imagination, I couldn’t come up with a whole load of futuristic ideas, but I did begin to think about all of the things she won’t have to worry about.

For example, she won’t have to worry about winding the magnetic tape back into a cassette with a pencil after it has been chewed up in a stereo. Nor will she have to worry about reversing the charges on a telephone call from a phonebox when she wants picking up.

And she will probably never have to look at a map and write down directions to somewhere on a piece of paper before she leaves the house.

The wife and I come up with at least ten other problematic issues from the 80s and 90s that our Elizabeth will be free of.

“Do you think kids have too much technology these days and it is affecting their practical skills?” asks the wife, seriously.

Engrossed in my phone, the lack of a response is met with a sharper, “Michael – are you listening?”

“Shhh,” I reply, finally. “Pokemon Go has just downloaded.”

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